RE: "Lolita 101: This Japanese fashion craze is now for everyone"

This blog post is a response to the aforementioned article found on The Daily Dot here. All quotes will be from this article.

So.....we're doing this again. It's like Darcy all over again! Let's go!

Of course we have the ever popular mention of Nabokov's book (again), but luckily, this whole mess stays in one paragraph. Well, for the most part. Unfortunately, we have this: "[lolita] slang for a sexually precocious pre-teen in Japan". Well...that's just false. "Lolita" as a slang term is used in English-speaking countries (like America) to describe (sexually) attractive pre-pubescent girls. As far as my research has led me to believe, "lolita" was not a word in the Japanese vernacular until it surfaced with lolita fashion. As a matter of fact, no one is quite sure where the term "lolita" came from in regards to lolita fashion. So, nice conjecture, but also, no.

The article then goes on to (correctly) state that lolita events are quite commonplace at many anime conventions. I suppose it's a good thing they got something right in their article. They also include a couple pictures of lolitas, which I must say aren't the best quality, and one definitely shows two lace monsters front and center.

They go on to chat about the origins of lolita fashion, oversimplifying its history and completely ignoring the fashion's ties to both gothic and visual kei (despite mentioning the latter). They also falsely state that a nickname for the fashion is "loli". In my five years of being into lolita fashion, I've never heard it called this. Except in this article. Am I missing something here?

The classic lolita substyle is summed up as follows: Classic Lolita. The “purest” version of the look, Classic Loli has fewer embellishments than Sweet Lolita and a little more color than its Gothic or Punk counterparts. It’s characterized by simple print dresses without a lot of adornments.

Let's break this down. First of all, classic lolita is the "purest"? What does that even mean? The only substyle of lolita I can think of that isn't "pure" is ero-lolita, unless they mean "pure" as in "more influenced by historical fashions than other substyles and less tainted by modern sensibilities". If so, they really need to elaborate. I'm scratching my head here. Also, classic lolita can have have plenty of embellishments (hello OTT classic), and has plenty of strong colors and busy prints. Have they seen any classic dresses? My money is on no. They also included this coordinate (below). Let's break this down.

No blouse (or even a bolero), poorly matching shoes, make-up that is also poorly matching, one accessory I can see (the bracelet on the left), and what I assume is a black leather bag. This coordinate is NOT classic. It's not even lolita! (My apologies to whomever it pictures, it is not your fault your picture was used for this article-or so I assume).

And here we have another picture, captioned "A Finnish Lolita meetup featuring the Classic loli look".

Ah, yes. Because "hello look at all of this pink" definitely screams classic lolita, and most certainly isn't sweet lolita. Did this person find pictures for their article or just search Google for "lolita desu fashion" and put the results on spin cycle before uploading them to their article? (Again, no animosity to the gals in the pic.)

I know what you're thinking. They can't make this worse, right? Just stop reading here and you can pretend that all you like, dearie. Because next is: Gothic Lolita. Heavily influenced by visual kei, Gothic Lolita most notably contains lots of black—but not always. Heavy boots paired with lots of lace, and dress lines modeled after Rococo period fashions, are common features.

Before I include the (really awful) picture they've used for gothic lolita, I'd like to talk about how they summed it up. I wonder, first of all, why "kei" has to be italicized. Gothic lolita does not always have "heavy boots", and doesn't always feature lots of lace. And, this may be news, but ALL lolita substyles are (at least somewhat) modeled after Rococo period fashions. That's the basis for the whole damn fashion! But I digress. Let's look at some quality bright pettis.

Okay. There's a lot to talk about here, but let's stick to the basics. First of all, this is hands-down an ita dress. I mean, look at that headbow! And the petticoat (which is fire-engine red even after what looks like copious instagram filters) shouldn't be visible, but as far as I can tell it looks a couple inches longer than the dress. And those boots. Not to mention the sheer socks that don't appear to be the same shade of black as the dress. If I were to call this a lolita coordinate (which I will not because it isn't), I would call it old-school, not gothic. But it's not even lolita, so. You know.

THIS is much better. Not quite there, but a little more poof and a couple tweaks, maybe a better fitting....dress (is that a skirt)? And you'd have an okay coordinate. Maybe not goth though. Depends on how it would be changed.

And now, this: Sweet Lolita. Like Gothic Lolita, Sweet Lolita has more frills and lace than Classic Lolita, but it’s the total opposite in terms of aesthetic. Sweet Lolita uses lots of pink, parasols, and over-the-top embellishments to capture a true baby doll look. A hybrid version of Sweet and Gothic lolita is known as “Bittersweet Lolita.”

Firstly:

And now we can move on. Okay. "More frills and lace" than classic. Okay but not really? It super duper depends on the dress. I mean, Melty Ribbon Chocolate can be a sweet dress and it has no frills and no lace. Maybe ixnay on the sweeping generalizations? And what do they mean by "lots of....parasols?" What, do only sweet lolitas use them with any frequency? 

"Punk Lolita. Much like Gothic Lolita, this look contains rock-influenced elements." <---This. This I will accept. That's a passable description. Although I'm sick of "passable" when it comes to articles trying to introduce people to lolita fashion. This is how we end up with endless itas, people. Write better!

"Mori.  Not a subset of Lolita but a separate street fashion, Mori dresses tend to be longer, with a dedication to earth tones and a downplayed style." Not lolita but hey we're gonna put it in this article about lolita because we have a word count minimum to hit and we didn't do a second of research.

"Gyaru". Okay can you guys stop now? You're going to confuse people.

"Hime." 

Oh no, I guess we're still going.

They also include this little gem: Like steampunk, Lolita is heavily influenced by European and Victorian aesthetics, and it can be very difficult to tell the two apart. 

I have done a lot of study and research into women's garments over the centuries, and I can tell you right here and now it takes no effort to tell the two apart if you remember these two things: steampunk is about the poof in the back, lolita is about poof in either a cupcake, bell, or a-line shape. Super simple. You can do steampunk lolita but the two are (again) quite easy to tell apart, since lolita draws more from the Rococo era, and steampunk more from the Victorian era.

They then wrap up with the whole "lolita is for everyone and the people who do it do so because it makes them feel pretty", which I would appreciate more if they researched it more thoroughly. I do appreciate the bit at the end addressing the rebellious nature of the fashion, but I'll talk more about that another day.

"You might think that men dressing as Lolitas wouldn’t be a popular trend, but you’d be wrong. They’re called “brolitas,” and Lolita fashion has made a space for them too." I'd check CGL and Behind the Bows before saying lolitas have made a space for brolitas. They exist, certainly, but there's actually a lot of hate that goes on, not even behind the scenes. I would say "lolitas accept male-identifying persons interested in/wearing the fashion." We haven't even fully accepted lolitas of color yet, don't expect us to have accepted brolitas. It takes time. There's some hate in the frills.

"'There are people who have strict standards about what the community should be,' she says. 'But most people are like, ‘if you like it, wear it.’ It’s a very international community.'" Well I mean. As long as they make us look nice, I guess. Just don't tell them about BtB and we'll be cool.

Look. It's great that lolita enters the mainstream. I mean, it does mean an influx of people poorly informed (by articles like these) that have to ask a million questions, but I love seeing this fashion I adore becoming more popular (as long as I still get my dream dresses, dammit). But I find it damaging for people to come across lolita via poorly written and researched articles like this. Using poor quality photos, only talking to maybe two or three lolitas and gathering minimal info on the fashion, etc. I'm so nitpicky about it because I'm tired of seeing articles going "here's a frilly Japanese fashion that gets its name from Nabokov's book." It's bad for the community to be presented in such a manner-again with the newbies who are misinformed about the fashion, and misconceptions (especially when it regards sex and lolita-looking at you, ageplayers) that can affect those of us who are already into lolita.

What I'm trying to say is this: do better when you write about us. Please. 

If I have to read one more god damned lolita article that mentions Nabokov, I swear....

Petticoats Through the Ages

A look at the evolution of petticoats, and how recent styles such as rockabilly and lolita have revived an old undergarment and given it new life.

Petticoats became established in most European cultures by 1585. There were several different types of petticoat at this time; some variations included farthingales, which were an early form of petticoat with wood sewn into it to achieve the desired shape. Farthingales came in several different shapes and were commonly used in courts at the time. It was mostly the noble class that used farthingales, as the garment was not very practical for everyday activities such as cooking or cleaning.

In the 1700s, some versions of farthingales went to extremes, as you can see below. The purpose of these larger farthingales was to show power and wealth; these wider farthingales were quite expensive, and as you can imagine, the amount of fabric it took to make a dress this size was similarly pricey.

(This isn't even the biggest farthingale out there!)

However, they were quite uncomfortable, and so by 1651 had fallen out of popularity, to instead be replaced by petticoats (as you might be more familiar with them), made of cotton, wool, or silk (for richer folk). These petticoats often had lace or ruffles in the bottom, and several were worn at once to achieve the fullest skirt possible.

Petticoats were widely popular, being worn both in Colonial America and the "Wild West". Of course, common women would not wear as many as those who were noble, but even the poorest woman wore petticoats.

Predictably, these voluminous layers of petticoats were both hot and cumbersome; there are plenty of accounts of a woman running her skirts into a flame and being burned to death. Some women also fainted from the heat and weight of their petticoats. Needless to say, the advent of wide skirts was one fashion trend that was literally to die for. Though, for women in colder climates, petticoats did in fact do wonders to keep one warm (I can attest to their effectiveness-definitely would recommend petticoats for windy winters).

In the early 19th century, dresses narrowed, and as a result, fewer undergarments were worn underneath them. Thus the petticoat declined in popularity, until around the 1820s, when a resurgence of waltz in Europe resurrected the petticoat and the subsequent large skirts.

By the 1850s petticoats had become extremely bulky, and again there was a danger of women fainting, becoming dehydrated, and catching on fire.

Then, with the advent of assembly-line technology and production lines came the steel or iron-hoop hoop-skirt (though one would usually wear a petticoat over the hoop-skirt to soften the shape of the hoops). These were able to be mass-produced at a much cheaper price than before, and so became available to lower class women. Not being as familiar with the noble class when it came to large skirts, poorer women were often ridiculed for having the hoops be visible through the skirt material and indeed, some comics even were made making fun of lower class women in this way.

As hoop skirts became more and more common, so did larger hoop skirts; some men complained that women's skirts were getting so huge that they couldn't even kiss her hand anymore. Some comics from this era have waiters at parties with long-handled serving trays to reach the women through their sea of skirts.

As with any fashion worn predominantly by women comes ridicule by men, and the hoop-skirt fashions were not immune from this. Below I've included some comics from the time period around the advent of the hoop-skirt; these comics poke fun at the size of the hoop-skirt and its tendency to be blown around in the wind.

"An unexpected flight."

"The safest way of taking a lady down to dinner."

"A sketch during the recent gale."

In the 1920s, as dresses narrowed and clothes became more form-fitting, the petticoat and similar panniers were replaced with thin slips. With photographs and the movies' influence, styles in Hollywood became more influential, and as you can see in the photograph below, this mermaid style dress has very little room for petticoats. It was also around this time that corsets were slowly being replaced by brassieres, as necklines plunged lower and therefore, corsets would have been too bulky and visible.

The petticoat did not see another revival until the 1940s/50s, with the popular knee-length skirts that required crinolines (a shorter form of petticoat) to fill them. These petticoats, however, were made of nylon instead of heavier fabrics, and were much lighter and easier to maneuver in.

In the 1970s again we see clothes in the popular culture that do not support (or don't need the support of) petticoats; however, around this time, the beginnings of lolita fashion started in Harajuku, Japan. The fashion utilizes petticoats to imitate Rococo and Victorian skirt shapes.

As of today, petticoats still exist, and are made with a wide variety of fabrics made available with new technology. Rockabilly and lolita fashions both use the petticoat today, preserving this historical garment and improving on it (hopefully we won't have any more fire-catching incidents!) Petticoats are also even used under modern wedding dresses to achieve a princess, ball-gown like shape.

The petticoat has a long history, and it looks like it won't stop being used any time soon!

"Itas" and how to Not Be One

Before I begin talking about itas, I'd like to define what an ita is. An ita is someone, generally new to lolita, who hasn't gotten the fashion right. The common consensus is that "ita" comes from the Japanese word "itai": literally "ouch!" Itas make mistakes regarding lolita fashion that renders their outfits not quite right. I'm going to talk about common ita mistakes and how to avoid them, as well as talking about problems with more stubborn itas.

Let's get started!

COMMON ITA MISTAKES......

1. Not wearing a petticoat
2. Inappropriate accessories
3. Improper coordination
4. Calling lolita a cosplay or costume
5. Wearing clothes that are obviously poorly or cheaply made
6. Mixing colors that don't match
7. Accidentally (or purposefully) sexualizing lolita
8. Getting excited and making a coord out of non-lolliable clothes

Let's start out with petticoats. I commonly see newer lolitas forego a petticoat, whether it's because they didn't know to use one, or they decided they didn't need one. I'm here to tell you....you need a petticoat. There are exceptions for casual lolita, of course, but for every other sort of coordinate, you need one. There are no buts about it. One of the most important things in lolita is the shape of your silhouette, and without petticoats, you will not achieve the proper volume needed for this shape. Therefore, petticoats are a requirement in lolita.

Another thing I see with itas is some truly horrendous combinations of accessories: leg warmers, cat ears and collar, rainbow stripe socks, neon wigs, and more. Neon usually has no place in lolita at all; there are of course some prints that feature neon colors, but cheap Halloween-bought wigs are not usually compatible with lolita coordinates. 

Regarding the rainbow socks (which seem to be really popular for some reason), just don't wear them. Please. I don't think I'll ever live to see them successfully integrated in a coordinate. They're more suited for decora. And cat/kitten accessories....Western lolitas seem to really hate the whole ears/collar combination, and I can't say I blame them. They don't lend a nice look to lolita coordinates, even if there's cats in the print. Rabbit ears, bear ears, and deer antlers all seem to fit the lolita aesthetic better.  

One of the keys to coordination is to take inspiration from your dress or skirt (or salopette, or what have you). My Infanta Dolly House OP in pink is really easy to coordinate; if I want, I could wear a pastel pink bonnet like the teddy bears in the print. Or, I could wear pastel macaron accessories (like the ones on the dress). Even if your dress doesn't have a print, this is still fairly easy to do. 

(Infanta Dolly House OP)

  (AP Sentimental Scallop OP)

For instance, I have Angelic Pretty's Sentimental Scallop. The gingham fabric goes great with a straw hat and light pink or white accessories (white can bring out the trim of the dress, pink the ruffles). I find that, with a straw hat (that has a pastel pink ribbon on) lends this dress an adorable country look. Even without a print, it's still possible to coordinate quite easily. Again, you just need to take inspiration from the dress itself. And if you need help, check out lolita-advice on Tumblr (it's a blog I run to help newer lolitas and older lolitas alike!) Or, you can search for the dress online and see what other people have done for their coords.

Also....lolita is not a cosplay or a costume. It's a fashion drawing on aspects of the Rococo and Victorian periods. It's possible to do lolita-inspired cosplays, or themed coords (like Harry Potter themed coords, for example), but it certainly is not ever a costume. Many lolitas say that they feel more confident and comfortable in lolita and will get highly offended if you call lolita a costume so maybe.....don't.

So one of the number one mistakes I see is people wearing cheaply made clothes, or clothes made of costume fabric (think cheap velvet, scratchy lace, and shiny satin). These clothes are fine for costumes...but as we've discussed, lolita is not a costume. The fashion prides itself on having well-made clothes; quality is important. As such, shiny dresses with heaps of raschel lace are considered unacceptable (and actually quite insulting). 

As you can see, the lace quality is less than stellar.

Here, the dress is made poorly with cheap shiny fabric.

Both of these dresses would be considered very ita. Their poor construction and cheap components do not work with lolita. It would be fine to wear these if you want (not everyone can afford how much lolita can cost)...just don't say it's lolita when it isn't. And these dresses definitely aren't lolita. 

Now on to colors. A coordinate needs to stick to a specific color palette; if you have say, a pastel pink dress with a print that has other pastel colors, you wouldn't wear shoes that aren't also pastel (or white). Mixing bolder colors with pastels can be a risky business, and it can also look quite tacky. Sticking with a specific color palette (usually based on the skirt/dress you're wearing) is the key to having a really pretty coordinate.

So you know how feminine things have a tendency (at least in the US) of being sexualized? Well, unfortunately for us, that's still the case here. Especially with sweet lolita is the risk of being asked the question "are you an ageplayer?" You might be, of course, but lolita has nothing to do with kink (as it is literally just a fashion) and many lolitas prefer the two stay far, far away from each other. In this manner, lolita is sexualized, and it can also be sexualized by wearing the wrong things and calling it lolita (like wearing maid costumes and calling it lolita).

Above is a picture of what is most certainly not lolita. However, due to the lace and frills, it can be mistaken for lolita. One of the big problems is that someone could wear something like this, go around calling it lolita fashion, and then give a bunch of people the idea that this is what lolita fashion is. The fashion then becomes inherently sexualized to that person. There's nothing inherently wrong with sexual stuff or something being sexualized; the problem comes in that lolitas (some of them minors) are made uncomfortable by being sexualized in this way.

Finally, some people get so excited on finding lolita fashion that they scramble to find something in their wardrobe that will suffice (I find this actually quite adorable). The enthusiasm is great but the coordinates....not so much. Most clothing is non-lolliable (meaning it won't work for lolita). Again, I love how excited people get, but you usually have to wait to get lolita clothes before making your first coordinate. Many seasoned lolitas get irritated when people using clothes they had lying around tag their coordinates as lolita, especially because a lot of them are looking for actual lolita coords and don't want to have to sort through people wearing...non-lolita clothes.

I know how tempting it is to dive into lolita right away, but it is a fashion that requires patience, planning, and money. It's definitely not a fashion you can make using what clothes you have in your closet, as many clothes simply aren't the right shape or style. It's totally fine to tag your outfits as "lolita-inspired", but please-don't fill the lolita tags with non-lolita things (it's a pet peeve, for me). 

The final thing that I didn't list was the amount of people who refuse to follow the rules of lolita, while still calling their outfits lolita. This fashion is one that has a few rules that you need to follow, and you don't get to break the rules and still call it lolita (again, just call it "lolita-inspired"). If you're a newer lolita and you don't follow the rules....you're simply not a lolita. Which is fine! Just please, don't tag your things as lolita. You may also mislead other people who are discovering the fashion. I can't tell you the number of times someone has asked for constructive criticism and then said "well, I'm going to do what I want." Please. Please don't ask for concrit if you don't actually want it.

That's where I'll leave it for now. If you want to know how to get into lolita, I'll be writing a post about that soon, so stay tuned!

Re: Ita Loli as a New Type [Groan]

The blog post in quotes here is from Orchidee Stachelig on Blogspot. I corrected some issues with grammar and spelling in brackets (Orchidee is not, to my knowledge, a native English speaker).

"And [an] old-fashioned goth with old-fashioned beliefs. Journalist, IT geek, interpreter/translator. Clothes and jewelry designer and sometimes a model.

Ita Loli as a new type

I suggest making Ita-Loli a separate type of the Lolita fashion. Like other disliked but very nice ones, for ex. Ero-Loli, Guro-Loli etc. True Lolitas in sickly sweet brand clothes, eat me! :P"

There's a problem with marking ita as lolita. Itas generally do not follow the rules of lolita fashion, and those rules are in place to conserve lolita fashion. Even Rococo and Victorian fashions (which, if you remember, were the inspirations for lolita) had rules, copious amounts of them, in fact. If you don't have the shape and silhouette right, if you have cheap, crappy clothing...you're not lolita. And you don't get to be a "separate type" of lolita fashion when you don't follow the rules. Even ero-lolita isn't really lolita-it breaks the modesty rule of the fashion. Guro-lolita follows the rules of lolita in the shape and modesty; it merely adds a grotesque and gore-filled layer to lolita while still following its rules. Same goes for most other types (sweet, goth, military, pirate, etc...)

 "As my disgusting TV teacher says, "I will explain".

Back in 2005 when I got to know what Lolita is and when I liked it, I thought it's a fairytale, cute and romantic version of Goth, non-dirty Goth [too many grammar issues to fix here]. (I'm talking about Gothic Lolita style now.) A way of being different without being modernly shameless. And I started that fashion where even wearing a short skirt with stockings is NOT sexy and slutty. Think of Kukula's works and characters. Are they something that makes you jump out of trousers? I used to think Lolita is the same."

For starters, I'm not sure if "non-dirty Goth" refers to gothic lolita being modest or what. Also, "modernly shameless" is slut-shaming in a different way than I usually hear it, so kudos to you for at least phrasing it differently.

For the record, if someone doesn't want to be modest, it's not a crime (and it doesn't make them shameless). 

I took a look at Kukula's work and his work has elements of lolita, but it definitely isn't lolita. Honestly I don't think you are or ever will be, either.

"In TV shows [what shows?] I explain it like this: "When I was younger, I liked sewing clothes for my dolls, and I made them that way because I liked what they looked like. I put them on the doll because I wanted her to look the way I wanted, not "I wanted her to look hot". Same is with myself now even though my appearance is far from a doll's one: I make clothes the way I like them and I put them on because I want to look like that. Not to pick some jerks up. ""

Not sure what this has to do with lolita at all, honestly, and it doesn't contribute to your argument. Also, lolitas don't wear lolita to pick guys up so....guess this was a tangent or something.

"Like any other type of fashion, Lolita has changed since 2005. And I wouldn't say it's for the better [RAWR I hate change!!!]. Now we have strict rules I often consider stupid [no reasons why though], SAME brand dresses with sickly sweet prints, catty bitches who will give their last underpants for a new brand dress and would sigh in disgust when they see "cheap lace, shiny fabric and a Bodyline outfit" [because it's ugly]. They eat newbies so that they don't want to go on with following the style, and also there's a common opinion that it's "not a cheap hobby" [it isn't so I mean good observation]. That is - it can only be for those who are ready to starve to save for a brand dress [no one is forcing you to starve] I don't want to be called a Lolita because I don't want to have anything in common with those nasty people."

Lolita has always had strict rules, especially in the West. If you think the rules are so stupid, go find another fashion. And also, sweet lolita has become really popular, so of course there will be tons of sweet prints. Just because you don't like sweet lolita doesn't mean it's bad that so many people do, and that the dresses are so popular.

I won't disagree that we lolis occasionally "eat newbies" alive, but the majority of lolitas I've seen have kindly offered advice and constructive criticism to itas. And then the itas cry "bullying!" No joke. Doesn't always happen, but it happens enough that people are wary of it.

And it is not an opinion that lolita is not a cheap hobby. It isn't. You need to be ready to spend quite a bit on lolita; it's just part of the nature of the fashion. Because lolita (ACTUAL lolita) clothes and items are made well and with quality fabrics and textiles, it will be more expensive. Yeah, it can suck that it's pricey, and it also easily lends itself to being an elitist fashion in this way, but there's no getting around it. Lolita fashion is expensive. Even Bodyline can be expensive.

"The offensive definition of "ita-loli" (painful Lolita) is sticked [stuck] to almost all people who at least try to be creative in their outfits and general images while those who don't care for their bodies and faces but are dressed in brands are mostly appreciated. I don't mean naturally plus-sized people or those with adult faces - certain Lolita styles and outfits look awesome on them. I know it because I suffer from the last mentioned problem myself. T_T"

Offensive would be me going "wow you're an ugly bitch" (sidenote, not what I'm trying to say with this). Being called an ita can hurt some feelings but certainly isn't offensive, and it's usually "sticked" on people who are actually ita.

People can be creative with their outifts, but again, if it doesn't meet the requirements of lolita...then it's not lolita. There's a difference between following the rules of lolita while making a creative coord, and deciding you're just going to do whatever. One of these is lolita. The other isn't. The end.

"So if anyone who has their own vision of Lolita is called Ita Loli... Why can't it be separated into a branch of Lolita fashion that involves and encourages creativity [maybe because ita fashion isn't lolita]? I understand that not all tries end in success. But isn't it better to advise about how to make it better than calling a person names and telling them they're bad? How many of you had your first tries ended in 100% success? Personally I've gone through failures. Wanna see my beginnings of goth?"

I'm going to repeat: ita lolita does not follow the rules of lolita and therefore is not lolita. Fashion itself encourages creativeness, but why even bother getting into lolita if your creativity has nothing to do with the fashion? 

Plenty of lolitas are willing to help itas out to improve their outfits. Yes, not every first try is going to be great, but that's what concrit is for. Also, your beginnings in goth have nothing to do with your beginnings in lolita.

"Now I'm working on a dress that would definitely be called ita. I chose white fabric used for men's shirt, it has a light purple shade. I'm gonna make a "lace monster" with kilometers of non-cotton lace.Why? Because cotton lace is such a pain in the ass to iron! See, what lolita language I am using! But I'd better be a brutal biker than a catty female snob with daddy's or boyfriend's  credit card and an addiction to brands."

Okay, just wow. You know, I was gonna be nice here, but your whole "ooh, those catty and bitchy sweet lolitas!" thing is really getting on my last damn nerve. Lolitas work hard to afford what they've got. So what if someone is using another person's credit card (hopefully with that person's consent)? Just because you can't afford it doesn't mean anyone who can is suddenly a giant bitch.

And for the record, dearie, you can make your lace monster and wear it too. It still won't be lolita. It could be cute as hell and still not be lolita. You know decora? Fairy kei? Mori kei? All amazing, beautiful, and lovely. And not lolita. Not being lolita isn't an insult.

"And now I am going to say something many true Lolitas will hate me for. I don't like MOST modern brand clothes. A pregnant elephant silhouette, same sickly sweet prints and total orientation towards childish appearances and body types. But I'm sorry, aren't there taller people who understand they'd look funny in all that cutesy stuff? "

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE SWEET PRINTS OR CERTAIN DRESS CUTS OR RECENT RELEASES. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE SO EXTRA??? AND I HOPE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT TALLER PEOPLE WAS SARCASM.

"I prefer what was shown in the earliest Gothic&Lolita Bibles [okay but preference =/= rules], lots of lace that looks nice, showing off stockings WITHOUT ANY sexual meaning, dark Mana-style makeup and perfectly pale skin [racist much] in combination with my REAL hair. I sometimes use extensions, but they are literally a headache so they're for "bad hair days" only. :)"

OH MY GOD YOUR PREFERENCES MEAN NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. AND SINCE WHEN DOES LOLITA HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH SEX?!?

"A rectangle headdress is one of very few that suit me as well. It can be ita, but only when it's badly made and resembles a daily pad with lace. But please don't mix these with plainly decorated nice ones. 

I'm not shameless enough to be goth. Too dark, not catty and rich enough to be lolita. So I prefer being myself. When I have my new dress photographed, I'll label each pic as "It's NOT a Lolita dress, it's a goth dress. So dont worry, I don't call myself one of you."

TBFH I'm glad you don't consider yourself a lolita. What a relief.

"I'll show you some of my Lolita attempts, of course with a dark shade of Goth. I don't think they are bad even though they break most modern Loli style rules."

I'm not even sure what to say anymore except that you're one of the most obnoxious people ever. STOP SNUBBING PEOPLE FOR HAVING MONEY.

"A try of a my own idea - rocker lolita :) I made it a bit more glamour for that party."

 Note-the outfit shown was not lolita in any way, shape, or form. It was cool! But not lolita.

" Lolita fashion used to be the naive and not adult/dirty beautiful fairytale for older people who are tired of the ugly and unfriendly world. Now it seems to have become another unfriendly world concerned about money and being like everyone else. That's sad."

For the love of everything good and wholesome on this earth, lolita still has nothing to do with being adult or sexual. Also, what is your problem with things that are "dirty" or "adult"? Nothing! You sound like the world's most bitter broken record!

"And maybe "the brand fever" is a marketing trick used by brands themselves [or you know, the fact that the dresses are freaking amazing]? For ex. - people affiliated with those companies hang out in the world loli community planting those stupid opinions about what's true and what's not? All those rules look so fake and man-made [most rules are indeed man-made]... Maybe I am not right [you're not] but this is just an assumption. And if I'm right, the Loli brands will be even a bigger disappointment because I used to consider them something more fairytale-like than the cynical and snobby [is snobby your favorite word] glamour ones."

You can take your DIY "lace monster dress" and shove it right up your ass, at least then your head wouldn't be lonely. I don't know why you have such a problem with sweet lolita or with people who have money to spend on lolita, or what the hell your issue is with people showing off skin, but you need a reality check.

Ita lolita will never be a sub-category of lolita because IT ISN'T LOLITA. BYE FELICIA!!!

Cuteness and Vulgarity: Match made in Heaven?

Warning: Explicit language and content below.

Okay, we all know that the internet is full of vulgarity. Curse words, rule 34, and obscene trolls are just the tip of this lovely iceberg. But, the internet also has its pastel corners, cutesy art, shops dedicated to adorable vintage toys, and blogs focusing on pastels....

And then there's stuff like this that combines the two:

I showed these sorts of things to my mom one day, and she reacted with shock. For her, it wasn't normal to see such vulgar phrases being put next to pixel bunnies and bears, or upside down crosses done in pink and lavender.

The same reaction happened again and again as I showed friends these images. The juxtaposition of intensely cutesy art and photos with curse words or insults or satanic imagery tended to shock people, or even offend them. And I, of course, ended up loving the combo and plastering my laptop and phone backgrounds with melty pastel wallpapers saying things like "fuck you" or "suck a dick". And I loved it!

For myself, I believe part of the appeal rested in your typical "girly"/"feminine" aesthetic while having really un-ladylike features. People who identify as female are so often held to the standard of liking girly things, and sometimes, you just want to say "fuck you" to people who expect your personality to be just as soft as your pastels.

And that is what this is all about. Enjoying something women are "supposed" to enjoy while smashing it together with something a woman should never do (curse, be mean, you know, all those things that are totally for boys). I mean, the amount of times I've been told I need to like pink and I need to not curse, cross my legs...it gets old, and you get irritated.

There's something empowering about this art to me, something that says "yes I like pink and pastels, but fuck off, I don't like you." As someone often forced to navigate socialization as a female, I know all too well the expectations placed on me. I need to be polite, apologize for everything, never interrupt a man who's speaking, and marry a man someday and want kids (um, barf).

To me, this sort of art and aesthetic is almost like a rebellion against what's expected of me. I especially love pastel gore; there's just something wickedly awesome about seeing beautiful pastel art of someone with her intestines hanging out. From my upbringing and the attitudes of the people around me, I learned that I shouldn't like "gross" stuff and that I should play with dolls and get ready to be a homemaker. And there's just a giant fuck you to society in art that plays with expectations that can be so ingrained. I suppose I also like it because one of my dream jobs is to become a mortician and also become legally certified to embalm dead bodies, but hey, we'll just pretend I like the pastel gore for other reasons.

Even outside of art this juxtaposition is becoming more and more popular. Creepy cute is a semi-popular fashion utilizing this cute/pastel/grotesque/vulgar formula. Below, Anzujaamu (Tumblr here) shows creepy cute makeup, the perfect show of this combo. As you can see, her face is literally split 50/50 between really cute makeup, and makeup that makes her look like a demon or something. There's even a skeletal hand hair clip on the creepy side of her face.

Humans are naturally drawn towards cute things (science says this is why we like baby animals so much).....and a lot of us are also fascinated with things of a macabre, violent, or crude nature. Maybe creepy cute, and this mixing of cute and vulgar is really just an outlet of something we're all into. That could possibly explain the popularity of this fashion, others like it, and the aforementioned art. 

Whatever the reason, I have to say I'm glad it exists, if only so I can tell someone to fuck off in dripping, pixel letters.

Petticoats in Lolita Fashion

So, you're interested in lolita fashion. However, you're not really sure how to get the iconic skirt shape that is a must for the fashion. Keep reading for a full guide to the petticoat: how many to wear, the different kinds, where to get them, why to wear them, and more!

Alright, let's start with the basics-the different petticoat shapes. In lolita, there are two main skirt shapes, the bell and the a-line.

~Main Skirt/Petticoat Shapes~

Below is a bell-shaped skirt (Milky Planet OP by Angelic Pretty).

Just like the name says, the skirt is shaped like a bell. Bell-shaped skirts usually flare out from the waist, instead of the hips or bust. The bell shape is very popular in sweet lolita.

Now we have the A-line! (Dream Sky OP by Angelic Pretty)

See how the edges are straight instead of curved? It mimics the shape of the letter A (as you can see). I find that most A-line dresses flare out right under the bust instead of at the waist, but of course there are exceptions. A-line skirts are popular with classic lolita.

There are other skirt shapes as well, but these are the two main ones that are used in lolita to get the iconic silhouette. 

So, you may be asking why you need to know what the skirt's shape is to be able to use the right petticoats. This is so you know what shape of petticoat to use! A-line skirts use a-line pettis, and bell-shaped skirts used bell-shaped pettis. It's super simple!

Below is a bell-shaped petti.

Notice how its shape is identical to the bell-shaped dress? It's super easy to match up skirt shape and petti shape. The same goes for the a-line petticoat. The shape of the petti should match the shape of the skirt.

A huge no-no in any fashion is using the wrong petti-you wouldn't use a bell-shaped skirt under an a-line dress. It won't fill the dress out properly and it just looks.....wrong. So be sure to match the shapes up!

Alright, so now that we've discussed the basic shapes of petticoats, it's time to talk about how to wear them...

~How Many Pettis to Wear~

To properly utilize a petticoat, you need to first know what look you are going for. Are you going for a more casual lolita coordinate? Something over the top? Or just a regular coord? It's important to know, as different amounts of petticoats can be used for coords.

With casual lolita or outfits that are lolita-inspired, you might forego a petticoat entirely. Some dresses have a lining that uses a small amount of tulle for poof, and for casual lolita coordinates, this small poof might be all you need. It isn't required to wear a petticoat with casual lolita, since (as the name implies), the outfit is meant to be more casual and easygoing. Especially if you're planning to travel, walk around a lot, go shopping, etc., casual lolita can be perfect. Extra pettis can weigh you down and get in the way (believe me, I've knocked over plenty of things with my skirts while shopping). Hence, it is perfectly fine to wear one petticoat or merely have the tulle lining of the dress act as a petti (but don't call it lolita-casual lolita is kind of its own category). 

It's also a good idea to have a thinner petticoat, whether for hot summer days or again, for more casual occasions, to have your coord be less bulky.

With regular lolita coordinates, you usually want to wear 1-2 petticoats to achieve the desired shape. I find that, with my bell-shaped lolita dresses, 2 petticoats are usually perfect to get the right amount of poof. Again, this will depend on the specific dress or skirt that you have. Lighter materials like chiffon may not need as many pettis to get poof, while I find that my heavier cotton dresses can need up to 3 pettis to support the fabric.

Again, it's really dependent on the dress, the fabric, and the quality of petticoats you have.

Regarding OTT lolita, most lolis like to go for the maximum amount of poof, using 2-3 petticoats (I've even seen some wear four). Because OTT stands for "over-the-top", it makes sense that lolis would want to go for the biggest skirt possible, stacking pettis to achieve the desired shape.

Remember that this is just a guide, though, and you can wear as many or as few pettis as you like to match what YOU want in your coord. However, if you aren't wearing any pettis at all, be sure to mark your coord as casual or merely lolita-inspired. Without the proper skirt shape, an outfit cannot be considered lolita, as the silhouette of the skirt is (again) one of the iconic features of the fashion.

~Where to buy Pettis~

One question people ask me a lot is where I purchased my petticoats from. I have one petticoat from Classical Puppets (purchased via MyLolitaDress) and a few other pettis from Leg Avenue (purchases through Amazon). The Classical Puppets petticoat that I have (seen here) is a really nice quality, and it has an adorable cotton lace trim. Being of higher quality than the LegAvenue pettis, it uses less scratchy material and looks nicer.

However, the Leg Avenue pettis also do the job, and they are less expensive (they're about half as much as the Classical Puppets petti I have). For people looking to do lolita on a budget, or people who need a petti ASAP, I would recommend Leg Avenue. Their pettis are also excellent for putting under my Classical Puppets pettis to help get extra poof.

Several taobao resellers (including MyLolitaDress) sell petticoats. I would suggest checking out reviews and ratings for the petticoat you're eyeing. I would also suggest staying away from Bodyline petticoats; most lolitas say that they lost their poof quickly.

If you're interested in buying Leg Avenue petticoats or other inexpensive options, I would try Amazon. Leg Avenue sells through Amazon, as do other sellers who offer petticoats. Again, be sure to read reviews to make sure that your purchase will be worth what you pay for it!

I wish I could offer more suggestions but I do not want to recommend any petticoats I haven't personally tried out!

~How I Wear Pettis~

The majority of my dresses have bell-shaped skirts, so what I usually do is wear the Classical Puppets petti on top of any other petticoats I wear. Because it is the petti I have that is the nicest quality, it looks the best if accidentally seen-which is why it covers the other petticoats. My personal experience is that you only really need one nice petti; it's not required to have multiple forty dollar petticoats to get the volume you want. You don't even have to invest in one nice petti if you don't want to! Again, I do suggest it, but it's more personal preference, and it's certainly not required.

I also usually wear tights if I'm stacking pettis. The rougher Leg Avenue petticoats are usually against my legs (my bloomers aren't always long enough to cover all of my leg), and the fabric has a tendency to irritate my skin. If you think the same may happen to you, I would suggest tights or bloomers to help protect your legs from rubbing against the petticoats. 

To get the right shape, I will pull on my skirt or dress, and then shimmy the petticoat so the waistband is right where the dress cinches in before flaring out. With my bell shaped skirts that flair from the waist, I will put the waistband(s) of any pettis I'm wearing and have them sit right on my waist as well to optimize the petti. If your dress flares out from the bust and you have a petti on your waist, it won't look right.

You can put your petti on before your outermost layer(s) if you want, but I usually get them on after depending on how I pull on the dress or skirt. If it can go over my head, pettis first. If I have to step into it, pettis last.

Again, remember to match up colors, and try not to use petticoats that are brightly colored or too long. You don't want your petticoat to be showing at all. It should be completely covered by your dress/skirt.

~Why You Should Wear Pettis~

I have seen a lot of newer lolitas question the need for petticoats, and I'm here to tell you: lolita fashion would not be lolita fashion without the petticoat. The main things that set it apart from similar styles like fairy kei, creepy cute, and pastel goth are the shape of the skirt and the use of historical undergarments (pettis, bloomers, etc). Lolita is an homage to Victorian and Rococo fashion, and part of that history in the fashion is the skirt shape that was popular in those times.

Disregarding the need for petticoats is throwing away one of the biggest parts of the fashion, and something that ties it in with history. One of the requirements for a lolita coordinate (exempting casual) is...PETTIS! 

They make or break a lolita coordinate. So don't forget yours!

~Extras~

• If your skirt is really heavy, you can try a hoopskirt with a petticoat over it to soften the shape of the hoops
• Too many petticoats will put strain on your back and hips/waist
• There are a lot of tutorials on how to make pettis, so if buying one is too expensive, making one is always an option
• Your petti should somewhat match your color scheme-don't use a black petti with a pink dress
• Petticoats have been around since at least 1585 (Wikipedia)
• Rockabilly fashion also regularly uses the petticoat

A Coordinate Breakdown: Neverland Lolita's Holy Cross

Today I'll be breaking down my coordinate of Neverland Lolita's Holy Cross JSK in what I believe is the teal colorway. I will not only be discussing accessories, but undergarments as well, and the thinking behind certain pieces.

Here is the coordinate it all it's glory! I apologize for the editing, but I had to hide my sofa!

Okay, let's start with the dress itself. It's (obviously) religion-themed, which actually makes it pretty easy to coordinate. It's also this really nice light teal color, with some darker colors in the print. Again, the colors present make it easier to coordinate, since it uses some bold colors.

For head wear, I have the bonnet that goes with the dress. Now, because this bonnet is actually quite large, my plan was to wear a golden or cream flower headband right in front of the bonnet (so the flowers would be right where the bonnet touches my head). The reason I chose gold or cream is to bring out either the gold accents in the dress, or the cream lace trim.

Now, the blouse. If I had one, a standing-collar short sleeved blouse would, I believe, compliment this dress the best, especially if it was paired with a golden cross necklace of some sort. Because the bodice is quite plain but for the cross, I think that a high collar would help make it more visually interesting. Again, though, I only have two blouses, and neither are standing-collar, so I went with an off-brand blouse with a ruffled boat-neck collar.

Now, the shoes are a nice cream that goes well with the dress, but cream is definitely not the only option. Some matte golden shoes would also go really well with this dress, and honestly, I think gold shoes would look better, and then you could wear cream tights (cream shoes and tights are a weird combination). But again, I have no golden shoes, so cream it is.

Regarding legwear, I went with some cream, semi-opaque tights (that look white in the photo for some reason), but again, that concentration of cream wasn't ideal.

Over the dress is a vintage white peignoir. Now yes, the peignoir is white, and the dress has cream lace. However, the peignoir's lace trim is also cream (due to age), and the peignoir itself is translucent enough that it works with the dress. I felt that the peignoir invoked a sort of ethereal, angelic feel, something I wanted to draw out since the dress features church windows, and I often see angels on said windows.

Under the dress is one bell-shaped Classical Puppets petticoat, with another petticoat from leg avenue under that. I truly feel like this dress can be made to be more a-line, or more bell-shaped, and I love that flexibility. Honestly I would go with a-line, but I was curious to see it with a bell-shaped petti-and I liked it!

So, that's the breakdown of the coordinate. I hope you enjoyed me tearing apart my own outfit!

A Distant Love for Fairy Kei

With its airy, floaty pastels, cutesy imagery, and fun feel, it's no wonder that fairy kei is as popular as it is.The aesthetic appeals to a wide audience: people who like a lot of light colors, people who like playing with accessories and stacking them on, and even bloggers who run pastel-themed blogs.

Fairy Kei is a Japanese street fashion focused around pastels and soft fabrics, motifs from the 80's (think Care Bears, or the old My Little Pony), and DIY. It has a fantasy like element, and I have to say, I am enthralled by it.

I already love vintage clothes, especially those with vintage cartoons on them, and fairy kei puts these old shows through a filter and they come out as lovely pastels. The re-purposing of older clothes is also something that is easily enjoyable; it's great that a popular fashion utilizes re-using as one of its main tenements.

Even more, I love leg warmers (though not in lolita fashion), which are used in fairy kei. I'm not quite sure why, but pastel leg warmers have a direct line to my heart, especially if they're made of a soft material. What better way to stay toasty than with something utterly cute?

Fairy kei is also a lot more lenient when it comes to structure and style than lolita, which can be a nice break from worrying about how many petticoats you have on and whether or not you're covering enough skin.

I was originally introduced to fairy kei via the recommended video section on Youtube. One of Mahou Prince's videos showed up while I was watching lolita unboxings and the colors were so enthralling, I had to watch.

(Mahou Prince's Fairy Kei Transformation video thumbnail)

The adorable (kawaii) aesthetic and dreamy feel appealed to me a lot. And the relaxed structure contributes, I feel, to some truly amazing options for outfits.

Fairy kei meetups also appear to be buckets of fun; without a thousand petticoats and hundred dollar dresses (though I'm sure some fairy kei items are rather expensive), with the option to wear pastel sneakers and hi-tops, comes the option to do a lot more for a meet.

(Photo by Pastel Raindrops)

The meets also literally look like fun, with the bright colors and the adorable outfits, and the cute motifs and patterns.

The playful nature of the fashion is so appealing to me! I don't even know if I can explain it.

If I could, I would drop a fairy kei bomb on my wardrobe and make it rain SPANK! clothing and accessories, and of course I would find the fabled thrifted panda sweatshirt (seen below.) Not to mention the fact that fairy kei clothes would most likely be more comfortable than lolita! Not to drag on lolita, of course, but even just a headbow can give me a headache in ten minutes flat. It would be nice to get to wear a pastel baseball cap or something!

Despite my love for the fashion, I've never been able to get into it. I just can't seem to amass enough pastel clothes to make even one outfit! And even if I did, I think I prefer ogling the pictures I see online. To me it's a fantasy dream fashion that is really fun to look at, but not one that I could do myself. I have this sort of mental block where making busy, layered outfits is a challenge for me, and that makes fairy kei challenging.

If I spent enough time and effort on making a fairy kei outfit I am certain I could master it, but for now I'll be on the sidelines, admiring my fairy kei fashion icons and absolutely loving the melty, pastel, fun fashion that is fairy kei.

Dream Dress: Melty Ribbon Chocolate

This is my ultimate dream dress!!!

I ran across Deerstalker Pictures' unboxing video a few years ago and let me tell you, I am hooked on the Melty Ribbon Chocolate series (not including the hideous low-waist JSK). I am an avid chocolate lover, and someone transitioning from sweet lolita to a more classic style. The MRC series feels, to me, like a great midway-the darker colorways could easily be paired with a cream blouse to give it a classic feel, while the print still (obviously) reminds of sweet lolita.

With the gorgeous pleats, the embossed berets, the adorable drippy jacquard...this series snatched my jaw away and drowned it in warm chocolate dreams (and I am not complaining). I love pleats in lolita, both for the classic feel they provide, and for the elegance I think they exemplify. This release was hugely popular, and it's not hard to see why. The quality of the pieces was excellent, the accessories well-thought out, and the print subtle yet adorable. (And the eyelets on the back-yes! I love more durable dresses.)

MRC makes me think of a 1920's chocolate flapper fantasy for some reason, and it's such an adorable cut and style (again, except for the low-waist JSK). I can't stop obsessing over it.

Above is one of the colorways of the MRC JSK. Just-just LOOK at it! It's amazing! Fabulous! And the collar? Brilliant! The buttons, the brown trim and bow against the lighter brown dress, the pleats....perfection.

Let's take a closer look at the print:

So you're probably like, oh, it's just a chocolate bar. That's not that great. You would be wrong! Instead of being printed on the fabric, it's embossed. That's the main genius of the dress-the subtle chocolate bar embossing. It's simply....delicious!

And just look at the ribbon of the wrist cuffs (which is the same as the ribbon on the dress):

I can't even express how much I love the design of the ribbons and bows on this dress. The sort of metallic-y yellow setting off the different colorways looks amazing, almost like packaging for a high end chocolatiere shop. It's the best. You need to agree with me on this. It's great. Just look at it.

Every now and then I'll stalk Lace Market to see if anyone is selling it (they're usually only selling the low-waist JSK, which is awful). I have only found it once, and I have to say, I completely not regret buying it. It was the whole set, socks and all, in new condition from a reputable seller, and I could have afforded it.

Every time I think about it my heart breaks a little bit. I could have had the dress Milkyfawn unboxed in the very video that made me fall in love with MRC; the very dress I doted on so much. Needless to say...I am kinda stupid. And regretting it massively.

Honestly I don't know why I love this dress so much. Well, I do (see all of the included pictures for why). I just wanted to share my love of this dress, and point out some of the really cool details of it.

Disclaimer: Author may be biased due to love of chocolate, pleats, and brown dresses.